Brought the Pain
by kapaliela.nani
Summary: Katie has been with James for a while, but nobody knows for Kendall's sake, and its getting on her nerves.  That night something happens that changes her complete attitude about life.
1. Taking a Walk

**So this story has been inspired by my surroundings. In the past couple of weeks there has been at least five rapes where I study. Sadly it happens a lot where I live. People think all raped people act the same but they all respond to it differently and this is one that I know of. I hope you like the story and seriously if it happens where you live carry both a pepper spray and a taser, comes in handy.**

Chapter 1: Taking a Walk

I sat on the bright orange couch with my legs on my brother's lap almost reaching my boyfriend's. I hated being angry, but I couldn't help it. I love James, but I hate being a secret for the sake of my brother. Sometimes I can't help but think that he might be using me just to have someone care about him because for everyone else is stupid the idea of a 16 year old and a 20 year old together. Specially him, all the girls, gay guys and even some straight guys drool when he walks by.

"Hey sis, movie's over." Kendall said shaking me out of my thoughts. "You okay?" He asked concerned.

"Yeah, just peachy." I snapped at him, glare included, and got off the couch making my way to the door.

"Kates, come back." James said jumping to my side looking confused.

"Leave me the frog alone James." I said switching the adequate cuss word with a nicer one to spare myself another lecture from Kendall.

I pushed James to the side and left the apartment. I decided to walk over to the abandoned park. It was a little far from the Palm Woods, but at least it gave me more time to think.

It was almost the end of the afternoon. In about an hour and a half the sun will set and the night will come.

Lately I felt James distant; actually it started when that exchange student came to live with us. Can't blame him though. She was beautiful, funny, outgoing and last but not least: British. She said she was a fan of BTR and all the guys got excited because she kept her cool and didn't go all crazy over them. They wanted to impress her, they showed off their best qualities, James' were his voice and body. I had confronted him about it but he had said it was just so the boys wouldn't suspect, but the whole thing about them hanging out alone told me otherwise. I didn't want to be one of those needy girlfriends, but it felt he cared more about his hair than me.

I woke up in a strange place. It wasn't my room, or my brother's, or in the Palm Woods for that matter. Looked like a cheap motel and it smelled terrible. I felt myself naked under the covers and when I looked to my left my clothes were on the nightstand neatly folded. I uncovered myself but spotted a red stain on the sheets. I quickly went into the bathroom. I wasn't on my period, but felt a lot of pain between my legs. I took a shower realizing what had happened. I felt so dirty, so guilty. I told James no a lot of times, wanting to wait at least til I was 18. I wanted it to be special, something amazing to remember, now it's gone.

I got out and got dressed; I wanted to just go home and cry. It took me a while to know which direction was the Palm Woods. I walked as fast as I could, feeling a burn in between my legs.

I felt my archaic cellphone vibrate signaling I had a text. I took it out of my pocked and flipped it open; it was from Kyle.

_You were amazing last night, too bad James will never experience that._

I started to run until I reached the Palm Woods. I saw Kyle sitting casually in the lobby, he smiled. I sent a glare his way and continued towards 2J. I opened the door and saw my mom and my brother looking worried and tired.

"Katie!" Kendall exclaimed walking over to me. He was about to hug me when this feeling inside me snapped. I had this feeling that if he hugged me he would smell him.

"Stay away from me!" I yelled and ran inside the bathroom. I caught a glance of James coming out of his room. I shut the door and locked it. I needed to take another shower.


	2. I'm Gonna Lose Him

**So I got surprised to even have reviews, idk, me and my pessimistic self. Anyways I'm glad you guys liked how the story was going and happy cuz of the alerts too. I finally had a bit of time off, teachers think you have all the time in the world when you don't and that's why I write stories in THEIR time. I'm looking forward to reading more of your reviews, say what you like and didn't. I already have five chapters written but I started modifying this one so that'll probably happen to the others.**

Chapter 2: I'm Gonna Lose Him

I got hungry and came out of my room. First thing I saw was Penelope hovering all over James while he cooked; no wonder I got hungry.

"Mmm, smells amazing." She said 'smelling the food' over James' shoulder. Either she has a super nose or she was smelling him. I'm going to go with the second one.

I made my way over to the fridge and got a couple of brownies out on a plate, but I saw his hand put them back on the container.

"No dessert before dinner." James said in a playful tone.

"I suggest you step away and let me eat my brownies in peace." I said in a harsh tone putting them back on the plate. I was walking towards my room and I could feel James looking at me.

"So James, are we still on tonight?" I heard Penelope say. That comment got me so angry that I slammed my bedroom door and locked it.

I heard keys giggling on my bedroom door. Right then I saw Camille walk in. Ever since Jo left for New Zealand (and never came back) we had gotten really close. She was the only sister figure in my life. She was also the only one that knew James and I were dating; I needed to share it with someone. She locked the door behind her and I let out a sigh of relief. She came close to me and hugged me. I started to cry, letting all my tears out. After 15 minutes of silence she spoke.

"You had all the boys worried last night. They called me when you came back. I thought you were with James. Where were you?" She asked handing me a tissue from the nightstand.

"James wasn't here?" I asked.

"No, he went out to find you. But where were you?" Camille asked again.

"Cami-" I broke down, crying like there was no tomorrow. "I'm gonna lose him." I tried to explain but the tears and my sobs wouldn't let me.

"Shh, calm down sweetie. I don't understand you." She said rubbing my back but I couldn't help to cry more.

After a while I had calmed down enough to talk.

"I'm gonna lose him Cami." I said still sobbing, but less than before.

"Why do you say that hun? James loves you." She said still rubbing my back.

"If he didn't break up with me before because of Penelope and my jealousy, now he has a valid reason to."

"What happened Kitty?" Camille asked using my least favorite nickname. It happened when she found out my obsession of Hello Kitty and Chococat.

"I'm not a virgin anymore." I said in a whisper.

"You cheated on him?" She exclaimed in a whisper.

"Kyle raped me."

I couldn't take it anymore and cried my eyes out.

"When did this happen? You have to report it. You haven't taken a shower, have you?" She asked in a panicked tone.

"Cam, I'm not gonna report it. I don't want to see him again or go to court."

"Hun, when did it happen? Do you know if he used protection?"

I looked at her like she was a moron. Was she seriously asking me when did it happen? Isn't it obvious that it was the stupid reason that I wasn't here last night?

"All I remember from last night was being at the park. The idiot sent me a text this morning letting me know what happened last night." I replied angrily.

"Come on Kitty, lets got to the pharmacy." She said grabbing my hand.

"Camille it's way too early to even know if I might have gotten pregnant."

"I know. We're just going to get you the plan-b pills and hope they work." She said pulling me out of my room. I saw all the guys looking at my door and I quickened my pace outside the apartment dragging Camille with me.


	3. Won't Take Long

**Thanks so much for the alerts and the reviews! Babyxgirl921: Thanks for letting me know my mistake, i don't know why but in all my papers sometimes it would say Jake and others Kyle, but yes, it is Kyle the little rapist. To respond to Lov logan well, no, no preggers in this story, there's already to much stuff that's going to be going on here. Also I can announce next chapter will be posted on Kendall's birthday, gotta love those green eyes. I'm sorry chapters are short but I write them in my Spanish literature class which for the first time I'm not failing, yay. As for the rape attempts where I study, they went up to 8 but then stopped, and thankfully nothing really bad happened. Well enough rambling, here's the chapter.**

Chapter 3: Won't Take Long

That night Camille packed a couple of my things. I didn't want to go back to my apartment. Mom had been okay with it since Camille told her what happened. She didn't tell her it was Kyle and she didn't know James was my boyfriend either.

Right when she came back my cellphone vibrated signaling I had a text message. It was from James.

_Babe, what's going on. –J_

_Nothing, I'm just pissed. –K_

_Is that why you didn't come back last night? You're pissed at Kendall? –J_

_No. –K_

_Then why? You know you can tell me anything? And please stop the short answers, you know I hate them. –J_

I didn't respond, I was still mad at him. If he hadn't been paying attention to Penelope and he had to me, like he should've, I wouldn't have gone out alone and that wouldn't have happened.

"Hey let's watch a movie." Camille suggested.

We ended up watching 'Christmas in Boston', one of my favorite movies. It's almost Halloween, but I'm not one to watch a movie only when it matches the season. I watch movies depending on how I feel and right now this movie will distract me and somewhat cheer me up.

It was close to my favorite part in the movie when we heard a knock on the door. I paused the movie and Camille got up and opened the door. Out of nowhere James came into the apartment.

"Hey, this is my apartment." Camille said pointing out his rude behavior.

"Well I'm sure that you know she's my girlfriend and I think I have the right to know what the hell is going on!" James exclaimed angrily.

"Okay the, I'll leave you two alone." Cami said before going to her room.

"Care to explain?" James asked angrily.

"Care to calm down?" I said as calmly as I possibly could.

James took a deep breath and sat next to me. He tried to scoot closer, but I moved further away.

"Kat, babe, what's going on and why won't you even let me come near you?" James asked. He looked hurt.

"James… I can't tell-" I started to say but the sound of the doorbell cut me off. Camille darted out of her room towards the door. She opened the door and immediately attempted to close it but Kyle pushed it open.

"Seriously? Is anyone gonna respect the fact that this is _my_ apartment?" Camille said aggravated.

"No worries, it won't take long. I just came to bring Katie some souvenirs of last night." He said putting a red, black, and silver gift bag on the coffee table and left.

I looked over at James. He looked angrier, if that was even possible.

"So you can't tell me anything that's bothering you, but you tell Camille. You leave the apartment and don't come back til the next morning 'cause you were having fun with Kyle. Am I even your boyfriend anymore?" He said attempting to not make it sound so angry.

I couldn't figure out what to say. I could say 'yes' but I would have to explain what happened and I couldn't. I could barely even touch myself after knowing. If I said 'no' that would mean losing him. That would also mean Penelope would get him and honestly I'm afraid that he might fall for anyone else that isn't me.

"You know what Katherine, let's just call it quits." He said and left the apartment slamming the door.

"You okay Kitty?" Camille asked.

"No, but I guess I'll have to be." I said curling up on the couch and crying, just like I had been lately.


	4. All About Kendall

**Hey guys.. thanks so much for your reviews. Well I'm just gonna update here quickly a special chapter for Kendall's BDAY! **

Chapter 4: All About Kendall

It had been a week since everything happened. I still went to school but besides that I never left Camille's apartment or talked to anyone that wasn't my mom or Cam. Kendall had texted me but I didn't reply. I has a lot of time to think lately and decided I should tell him and mom everything, but not today. Today was his birthday and I didn't want to ruin it more than I already had. I decided to sneak into his and James' room and wake him up.

I let myself inside the apartment and carefully closed the door and walked towards their room. I opened the door and sat on Kendall's bed. I shook him gently.

"Wake up you little mop." I said trying my hardest not to snort.

"Katie?" He asked slowly opening his eyes.

"Happy birthday big bro." I said hugging him.

It was the first physical contact I had with any guy in a week, but decided to suck it up no matter how uncomfortable I may feel. I needed everything to go back to normal to help me forget.

"Thanks sis." He said and kissed my forehead.

"I'll go make you breakfast." I said as I pulled away and got up. I looked over to James' bed, it looked weird but I shrugged it off.

I started to make some waffles and put some whip cream and cherries on top. I heard Kendall's door open and I looked over only to see James' coming out. He was shirtless and in his sweatpants. He looked like he hadn't slept well. I wanted to offer him waffles but I couldn't even bring myself to say 'hi'.

I decided to make him some anyways when I saw him sit on the couch and turn on the T.V. When I finished his and Kendall's badge I put his in the coffee table in front of him and took Kendall's to his room. I opened the door and gave him the plate.

"Man I missed your waffles." Kendall said while shoving himself a nice portion of it in his mouth.

"Glad you're happy big bro." I said sitting on his bed, actually smiling.

It was around 11am when everyone woke up. They were all cheering for Kendall's 20th birthday. I went to my room to find the birthday present I had gotten him a month ago. James had been online shopping with me to find the two most perfect gifts.

James got him a pair of limited edition Vans and I got him a costume made picture frame. I had found accidentally and old picture of him and dad from his last two months of life. I had restored it and carefully put it in the picture frame that had the Vans logo all over it. Did I mention that I also got him the original Spiderman mask? Yeah, I'm THAT awesome.

I sat on the floor for a while. I had truly changed this past week. Its not like I wanted to, but at least it made me feel better about what had happened. I started wearing again my oversized t-shirts and jeans instead of tank tops and shorts. My hair was in a ponytail and I didn't have the usual powder and lip gloss.

My bedroom door opened as James came in and closed the door. My heart jumped, I was happy to see him again in my room, I was happy to see him alone, like we used to. But of course that happiness only lasted about two seconds.

"Can I have the present I bought for Kendall?" He asked and I nodded. I had already gotten it out so I just gave it to him. The box was big enough so there was no chance of my fingers accidentally touching his like it happens in books and movies, but I had hoped that it would somehow happen.

I missed how he used to touch me, to caress me sweetly. It was always innocent but full of passion. The line had been drawn very early on so I would never be scared of him trying to take things too far. He was always very respectful; he always knew how to control himself. But then I remembered that Kyle probably did the same, I shuddered in disgust.

After calming myself down I went back to the living room; today was all about Kendall.


	5. The Mystery Of The Souvenir

**Wow.. FF was really annoying me.. it wouldn't let me edit this. Okay so first thing's first: thanx so much for the reviews I truly appreciate them. Second: I've been in an off mood lately, i can't wait till this freaking semester is over. My mood is being reflected in this chapter so.. WARNING: a lot of cursing, etc. is going to happen. For the person who told me a couple of things in french in the review: no worries, I'm good if i go to France and je ne suis pas anglais, je suis portoricaine, but thanx =)**

Chapter 5: The Mystery Of The Souvenir

"I'm so so so so sorry Kitty. It's just that the curiosity was eating me alive and I needed to know. I know it wasn't mine, but you know how I am. Please, please, pretty please forgive me with cherries on top, uh and loads of whip cream." Camille said way too quickly.

"About what?" I asked completely confused and overwhelmed I even understood what she said.

"Well you never touched the bad the little demon brought for you." Camille said kind of ashamed.

"What was in it?" I just had to ask.

"Naked pictures of you." She said in a whisper.

"What? I'm going to kill that bastard!" I shouted as I left my mom's room with the intentions of finding Kyle and choking him.

Camille quickly raced after me to hold me back as I was struggling to get out of her surprisingly strong grip. I was tired of Kyle ruining my life. I seriously don't get why is he being so malefic. All he has dome for the past three weeks is send me taunting messages. I would think revenge, but that couldn't be possible; we broke up on good terms and before all this shit happened he was still my friend.

I got tired of fighting against Camille and sat on the floor accidentally dragging her down with me. We ended up laughing at the ridiculous way we ended up on the floor. We stopped laughing when the door flew open revealing an angry Kendall with Logan following trying to calm him down.

"Did I also mention I saw it when the guys were at my apartment so I had to lock them in?" Camille said hiding behind Logan.

I didn't have the strength to get mad at her, but yeah, it was a stupid idea for her to open the bag.

"What the hell are those pictures about Katie? Who was the bastard you slept with?" Kendall yelled.

"Correction: raped me." I said subconsciously. It was supposed to be a thought, but it slipped.

Kendall stood frozen in place, it scared me. He was never one to not react. Logan's jaw dropped as he also stood in shock.

"I'll handle them, you just go back and relax." Camille said as she pushed me towards my mom's room.

I woke up to complete silence. Mom was fast asleep next to me. I reached for my phone; it said 9:42 p.m. I couldn't believe I had slept that long. I hadn't eaten anything since lunch so I figured a small snack wouldn't hurt.

I quietly walked towards the kitchen since the guys would probably be asleep. They were going in early tomorrow to Rocque Records and lately Gustavo has been an ass. Yeah, he always is, but he has been taking it to a whole new level.

I still felt completely sleepy but I knew if I didn't eat now I would regret it later. I decided to just cut fruit and eat yogurt since it was a light thing even though I was craving hot dogs and potato chips. I heard a weird shifting noise so I stopped cutting the fruit. I looked around but nothing seemed to be out of place except for the bathroom light on.

"Somebody must be in there then." I muttered to myself and continued cutting fruit. The door to the bathroom opened, Penelope coming out from it. Just then James came out from the bathroom too. Surprising me as it did I accidentally cut myself.

"Mother fucking flower!" I hissed letting the knife drop. Suddenly both faces turned to me.

"Hey, are you alright?" Penelope asked in her fucking perfect British accent.

"Of course not, I just cut myself." I snapped trying to hold back the tears.

"Here let me help you." She said reaching for a clean towel, but I stepped back.

"It's okay, I'll be fine. I just want to get my damn food ready." I said moving her to the side so I could finish cutting the fruit.

Little bitch finally got what she wanted. I could just see the smile forming in her face when she turned towards James, of course. I don't even know why did it surprise me; he had always been like that.

"Night baby." Penelope said while putting her arms around James' neck.

"Night." He said and started to pull away when she pulled him in for a kiss.

No, that kiss didn't stop immediately, took a while. But there was a little satisfaction in me when I saw James embarrassed face was still intact. At the same time it didn't completely make me happy, he pitied me having to see it. I would pity myself too, but for different reasons. No, not for the getting raped thing, but because Penelope could do what I was never able too: kiss him with someone else in the room watching.

I finished putting everything together when I saw Penelope still sitting in the couch with a stupid dreamy look on her face… bitch.

**See.. cursing =) Well I hope you liked the chapter and if you did or didn't just review, express your thoughts positive or negative I wont mind.**


	6. The Substitute

**So I fully agree: I hate Penelope too. There's always a Penelope in everyone's life so yes, she is inspired in 1 backstabbing person =) Anyways this time not only I got reviews but also alerts which meant a happy me inspired to write. Also included an immediate update before I forgot I wrote the chapter already. Well this chapter has the same warning as the previous one: cussing may occur.**

Chapter 6: The Substitute

Did I mention I didn't have friends in school? See I always wanted to feel something special. Since I was little I was so consumed in fairy tales that I wanted to make one of my own. I was only ever preoccupied on getting good grades so mom wouldn't get on my case and well, boys. I was completely boy crazy, but not in the complete obvious way, I think. Anyways I've only had three boyfriends, only one the whole world knew about which was Kyle, the other one only mom knew about even though it was at the very end of it that she became aware, and then one that only Camille knew about: James.

Why am I bringing this up? Because, I was so boy crazy that every time I got a boyfriend they became my whole world. They were the only things that mattered; I had nothing in my world besides them. I never cared to socialize or have my own life because instantly they became my whole life. Boys became my whole life ever since I was 13. But today is a different story. I wish I had someone to make this freaking eight hours bearable. Penelope had been driving me crazy with James talk 24/7. Doesn't she get we're not friends? I bet she freaking knew about me and James, she just had to, why else would she torture me? Why does she even want to torture me?

"Oh my God. I still can't believe that so many amazing things have happened since I decided to come to America. I wanna stay here forever!" Penelope exclaimed on our way to our first class: Music Theory.

The ironies of life: you try to escape the artistic world and it follows you. The whole reason I got out of the Palm Woods School was because I was tired of having that surrounding 24/7. To make it better our teacher was annoying Ms. Johnson, she was the typical cat lady.

We got to class and thankfully she ignored me since, of course, she had become the most popular girl in class. Eight o' clock came by and there was no sign of Ms. Johnson, weird. Mr. Miller came to the classroom with a 27-ish looking girl/woman (who knows how they liked to be called at that age, depends if the have a complex about it). I went back to my whole not-paying-attention routine I had started for this class. Sadly it wasn't enough for me to stop listening.

"This is Ms. Morgan, she will be substituting Ms. Johnson in the meantime. I hope that you guys do not create trouble." I heard then steps walking towards the hallway and continuing its way. The door was shut and then some papers made noise.

"Okay class, I want to get to know you all first so lets start with Anderson, Penelope?" Oh yes, she was first in everything. Am I sounding too whiny? Well I think I'm coping pretty well.

(15 minutes later of people babbling about their lives)

"Knight, Katie?" Oh shit, what am I supposed to say?

"Here." I raised my hand and looked up only to see my first boyfriend's sister Dana.

"Yes, of course. Well I know you haven't been paying attention, but I'll let it slide this time. My question for you is: what is it that you like about music?" She asked.

"I like how it's put together in the end in acoustic versions." I said simply without thinking.

"Good. Well, next up we have McGregor, Kyle." And here we go with the ignoring again.

Did I also mention he went to my school. He still lived at the Palm Woods thanks to his baby sister's cuteness. Seriously this day is not making me happy.

The rest of the hour went by quickly. I got up from my seat and started to pick up my things.

"So, how have you been Katie?" Dana asked sitting on the desk of the seat in front of mine.

"Good, you?"

"I've been better. Being a sub is not exactly my greatest goal." She said laughing. "I haven't seen you in years, although I never expected you to still be in high school. I mean you were young but-" She said but I cut her off.

"Sage didn't know my age until we broke up. He knew I was young 'cause it was obvious but not that he could get arrested for it."

"Did your mom know about it?" She asked me.

"Not after we broke up. Again, she knew he was older I just didn't specify until we broke up officially. Besides you know she met him when we started fighting so she didn't have much time to process it."

"Oh wow. Well I'm glad to see you again. Need a ride home after school? I want to catch up."

"Sure, why not?" I said. She was the only friend I had besides Camille when I was with Sage, but Camille never knew about him. I wanted to talk to her, but also I kind of missed Sage and I wanted to know if he was okay.

"Okay, meet me here after your last period." She said with a grin on her face.

I went outside the classroom and went to my locker to grab my things for math. I was actually pretty good at it so I was relaxed, also because Penelope wasn't in that class.

"So, what did Miss Morgan talk to you about?" Penelope asked being her nosy self.

"None of your business." I said shutting the locker and continuing my way to class.

**Review. Good or bad, doesn't matter, I'll appreciate it. Also tell me what you would like to see happen, maybe it will inspire something completely different than what i have in mind.**


	7. Pathetic

**So I'm not exactly the most religious person but it is a holiday for most people so I'm gonna say it: Happy Thanks Giving(Its not just a day for stuffing your face with turkey, has religious meanings too). I felt like crying today when I saw the guys singing the National Anthem and of course I was in love with Kendall's choice of clothing for the fine occasion. Also I'm still trying to figure out why would so many people be already waiting in front of freaking Best Buy for Black Friday(I was coming back home from my grandma's at 7:30p.m. when I saw that). I think it was still freakishly early to start waiting. So, for the people that are wondering who is Sage: he plays an important part in the story, no worries, he's a sweetheart, sometimes an %&%*^& but still, a nice guy. He will start to appear in chapter 9 probably. Anyways, hope you enjoy reading this after my little rant jajaj.**

Chapter 7: Pathetic

I was in last period when I decided to send my mom a text.

_Hey mom, I'll be home later than usual. Gonna hang out with a friend, ok? –K_

_How is Penelope going to get home? –Mama K_

_She knows the way, she'll be fine. –K_

_Who are you going out with? –Mama K_

_Remember Sage? His sister Dana is my new sub, she asked me to hang out. –K_

_Oh okay honey. Have fun and send my love. –Mama K_

I was surprised mom remembered her. She only came by twice after me and Sage broke up.

Last period came to its end, thank goodness. It had been an off day for me so my learning percentage was 0 and my annoyance was up to 99%. It was also a miracle that I didn't have homework at all, so I decided to leave everything, except my wallet and apartment keys of course, in my locker.

"So, I can't walk home with you today." I heard Penelope say next to me.

"No worries, I have a ride. See ya." I said walking towards homeroom where Dana was gathering her things.

"Hey, how was your day?" She asked.

"A bit off, but fine. You?" I asked.

"Peaches and cream." She said sarcastically.

We got to Dana's car and went over to Cici's pizza; we like to pig out. After just serving the salad, knowing there would be plenty of rounds to go, we got into a booth.

"So how have you really been Katie? I saw you very distracted in class and on the way here." She asked me. I decided to tell her the truth, since she would understand and even if I didn't want to she would get it out of me.

"My boyfriend broke up with me because I wouldn't tell him I was raped. He still doesn't know." I blurted out.

"Crap, are you okay? I mean, of course you're not, but how are you dealing with the whole rape thing? Does your mom know?" She asked clearly troubled by my confession.

"I can't be near any guy that isn't my brother and I'm constantly avoiding that bastard that raped me, 'cause to my great luck I had to know him. I don't want any guy looking at me in any way so I went back to using the shirts Sage gave me. Before this I was wearing tank tops and shorts. But yeah, mom knows although I didn't tell her all the details." I finished saying as we walked back to grab pizzas.

"I would die if that happened to me. You're handling it extremely well, considering you know the guy.." She trailed off.

"Yeah but I wasn't awake so I can block it out of my mind for a good couple of hours." I said as we walked back to the booth.

After a while I made her drop the subject, but of course, she was the queen of making you confess and or being just way to nosy. Just like her brother…

"So, who was that dumb boyfriend of yours?" She asked, I rolled my eyes.

"Seriously Dana?" I said annoyed. "What about your love life?" I asked turning the tables.

"Non-existent thank you very much. Your dear Sage has been making sure it stays like that." She said annoyed.

"Ha ha, that sucks." I said laughing.

Later she dropped me off at the Palm Woods. James and Penelope were just getting out of his car. I went up to the apartment using the stairs to avoid an encounter at the elevator. I quickly got inside the apartment and went straight to mom's room ignoring Kendall.

I'm starting to feel pathetic. I'm sleeping in my mom's room, I'm avoiding my brother, I don't know how to deal with everything. Just one thing destroyed how my life was, and everyone has peace in mind but me.

"Katie…" Kendall sighed. "I just wanted to tell you mom just went back to Minnesota 'cause aunt Tracy is in the hospital, so you'll sleep alone tonight." I nodded. "Okay! That's it! Will you just talk to me?" Kendall yelled aggravated. I winced as if I've been slapped in the face.

"About what?"

"Look, I'm sorry that I snapped at you, but you gotta understand: you're my baby sister and the fact that you would do that pissed me off, but now that Camille explained everything calmly…" He sighed. "I just want to protect you, okay. I hate seeing you like this." He said teary-eyed. I hadn't seen him like this since he heard Jo wasn't coming back.

Right then I received a text…

_Hey sweetie forgot to tell you I was leaving for Minnesota. Actually just arrived. Be careful, love you. –Mama K_

"Who was that?" Kendall asked.

"Mom, she just got to Minnesota and actually now she decides to tell me she's leaving." I said and he looked over at my phone to read the text.

"Wow, her age is really starting to show now." Kendall joked and I couldn't help but smile.


	8. Not So Happy Thanksgiving

**Hey guys so I decided to just do Sage with Blair Redford's physique since every vote was heading that way. I'm so glad I had written this chapter before and I just needed to adjust a few things because seriously this was just an awful day. Ever had a teacher be like: yeah, the test is today and even if nobody knew it its still going to happen? Well that happened and it wasn't pretty. Well I hope you enjoy this chapter where Sage makes his debut (couldn't wait til chapter 9 ^_^ )**

Chapter 8: Not So Happy Thanksgiving

"Family meeting!" I heard Kendall yell from the living room. I got up from bed and left all my homework scattered on top of it to go see what did he want.

I entered the living room where everyone was. Camille and Logan were on the bright orange couch next to Carlos. Kendall of course was standing in the very middle of the living room. James and Penelope were on the bean bag, yes, she was in his lap. _I hope it explodes and the beans go up her nose, maybe they can be support for her brain._ Bleh, what am I thinking, she is fucking smart if she caught him.

"Okay, now that everybody is here we have to decide what are each of us going to cook tomorrow. Mom had to go to Minnesota and now we're stuck doing it ourselves." Kendall said, Logan raised his hand and Kendall let him have the turn.

"My best guess is that Katie and James should cook and the rest of us should help set up since none of us can cook to save our lives." Way to go Kendork, you had to let smarty pants open his mouth.

"I can't, I'm going to a friend's house tomorrow." I said.

"Who? You don't have any friends." Penelope said. Wow, about time she showed her true colors.

"Okay, even though that comment was mean, it's kind of true." Kendork said.

"You don't know them." I said immediately. It pissed me off that not only they wanted to force me to cook with James they thought of me as a loser. I know I am, but did they really have to point it out?

"Well then invite them over for dinner." James said. I seriously wanted to kick his balls right now. He hasn't talked to me in a month and now he chooses to do so, for the worse.

You want to know how that ended up? I ended up calling Dana to come over for Thanks Giving. I explained the whole situation to her and she said yes. Of course what I didn't know was that when I would open the door I would find the person that probably originated the: Tall, dark and handsome…

"Hey Dana!.. Sage?" I said shocked. I did invite her over, I just never became aware of the plus one.

"Oh hi, you must be Katie's friends." Kendall said cheerfully as he approached the entrance signaling them to come in.

"Yeah, this is Dana and her brother, Sage." I said.

"I didn't know you had older friends." Kendall said raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, I do." I said. "And if you'll excuse me I have to finish cooking." I said as I headed into hell #2: kitchen with James.

"So, how did you guys meet Katie?" I heard from a distance since Kendall sat down with them on the couch with the other guys and Camille.

"Ms. Morgan here is our teacher at school." Penelope said.

"But actually we had met Katie years before." Dana said. "Sage met her first and then he introduced us. Their music teacher is sick so I'm the substitute for now." She finished.

"So how did you meet her?" Kendall asked Sage as I opened to check on the turkey.

"We dated." He said simply causing me to not be careful and burn myself with the corner of the oven.

"Sweet mother flower!" I exclaimed.

"Katie, language." Kendall said.

"Well I'm sorry Kendork but it's my only reaction to when I burn myself." I snapped.

"Why don't I continue with the turkey Katie?" Danna offered and I accepted grabbing ice and taking a sit next to Sage on the couch.

"So how old are you Sage?" Penelope asked. I don't even get why the hell is she asking, she's already dating James, hasn't she ruined my life enough since she came anyway.

"I'm 22." He said making Kendall's eyes almost pop out.

"Did mom know?" Kendall asked.

"Yes." I said swallowing my nervousness. That wasn't exactly a lie: she knew I dated him and that he was older, not the exact age tho.

"What?" James exclaimed.

"Anything to add?" I asked bitterly glaring at him.

"No, sorry, false alarm. Thought I burned the pie." He said as he took the pie out.

"Katie may I speak with you outside for a moment?" Sage asked extending his hand to me.

"Sure." I said grabbing his hand and walking us to the balcony.

"Keep the door opened." Kendall yelled. Is he serious?

Of course I ignored Kendall's request and shut the balcony door.

"So, what's up?" I asked casually.

"Well, for starters you know Dana can't keep her mouth shut so I'm sorry if you felt ambushed when I showed up. I wanted to know how you were holding up." He said sitting in the bench that we had in the middle of it looking towards the apartment. He grabbed me by the hand and pulled me a bit closer to him until I placed my hands in his chest keeping a safe distance while standing.

"Life sucks sometimes but gotta keep moving." I said avoiding his eyes. I felt as if I was in James' arms again. They both had a strong body and shiny soft hair.

"Okay, avoiding I see, its fine, I'm not gonna push it. Anyways I'm guessing your brother still doesn't know about your musical abilities."

"You guessed right, but seriously, did you had to tell him we dated?"

"Hey, I wasn't going to lie, you know its not me."

"Its not you until you need it to be part of you huh?" I said remembering how we broke up.

"Kates come on, you're still holding a grudge?" He said putting his hands in the bench, letting go of mine.

"No, it's just that you did hurt me and I can't forget even if you are a good friend." I said, he sat me on his lap and we hugged until I heard the sliding glass door open and Sage whisper that we would continue the conversation later.

"Everything's ready, let's go eat." James said grabbing me by the hand, I was frozen in shock. Suddenly I felt Sage grabbing my other hand.

**So, let me know what you thought by reviewing. Please? ^_^**


	9. Lunatics

**So this is my 'school is almost over' chapter. Seriously my professors are insane: first they say we finish classes one day but then they decide to give you one last project. Anyways I want to know what do you guys want to happen, make suggestions or comment on any detail that you liked from the chapters please :). Sorry it took me long to update but as of now my updates are going to be in a matter of a couple of days, not more than that.**

Chapter 9: Lunatics

Bidding goodbye had never been so awkward in my entire life, then again I would've never thought about thanking Penelope and her stupid mouth. She had kept the conversation going at the table away from my issues. But then Dana and Sage's time to leave had arrived. Dana hugged everyone quickly while Sage just shook everyone's hands until he reached me. He hugged me tightly and kissed me on the corner of my lips and stayed there a bit longer than he should have. It wasn't until they left that everyone decided to bombard me.

"What was that huh?" Logan asked raising his eyebrows smirking.

"Hey, don't you make her think its okay! Do it menacingly like me, or James apparently." He said glaring at me.

"I think somebody might be getting herself a boyfriend soon." Penelope said, right there I stopped thanking her for what happened at dinner.

"I did have a boyfriend, we broke up." I said dryly.

"What? Why do you never tell me?" Kendall asked.

"So you won't act like a lunatic like now. Anyways just so you shut up, you never knew about Sage because I dated him while you guys were on tour for 9 months, we dated for four of those." I said and went over to my room. I closed the door and grabbed the card that was in my pocket. Sage had managed to slip me his card with his new number on it. We hadn't lost touch on purpose; it was just the crappy technology he used to buy.

I texted him my number and he texted back saying he got it. I went over to my closet and sat in the floor opening my shoebox. I would always write thoughts since I was little and put them in there, but when I took singing classes I started to write songs. Sage had taught me how to write music and how to play a bit of the guitar so I could rehearse by myself with Kendall's old guitar.

I read one of them: Masterpiece. It said everything I felt when I knew Sage and I would be ending soon. I couldn't help to wonder how could you love and hate someone so much at the same time and even after a while you still talk to that person even if it hurts and you don't want to let them be out of your life. Then again, that is the same thing I feel with James. I hate him for being with Penelope, knowing that would hurt me more, if he even cared that he was hurting me, but I still loved him with everything and I just wish I could tell him everything that happened and make it all go to the way it was.

Well, not to the way it was. I still hate the fact that we had to hide from everyone. How can someone go through so much shit at 16. I decided to text Camille.

_Can you come to my room? –K_

_No, sorry. –C_

_Can I go to your apartment? –K_

_I don't want to see you right now K. –C_

_What? Why? –K_

_How come I had to figure everything from today right on the spot? –C_

Holy capers!

I went out of my room in a hurry only to bump into James. I looked at him and decided to continue my way to Camille's apartment but he grabbed my arm.

"We need to talk." He said leading me forcefully to my room.

He got me inside the room before shutting the door and locking it. I tried to pry away from him but he wouldn't let me. I decided to just let go and sat on my bed.

"What the hell was that?" He asked fuming. Why the hell would he care? He's with Penelope.

I stayed quiet and didn't answer. My phone buzzed signaling I had a text. I was about to check it when James grabbed it and read it.

"_I had a good time at dinner even though it was a little awkward, but thanks anyways. This is my new number. See you around. –Sage -_Can you explain this?" He said holding up the phone to my face.

"Well its called being friends with your exes and also being nice, which you aren't being right now. So far I understood you didn't want to talk to me and when you started going out with Penelope I figured 'he doesn't ever want to see me again in his life'. So may I ask you, what's up with this little act of yours? 'Cause so far all I remember is you dumping me which means you aren't my boyfriend anymore which denies you any right you might have had."

Right at that moment someone knocked the door, I stayed quiet.

"James, Katie, open up!" Kendall yelled from outside the door.

James unlocked the door and Kendall came into the room with Penelope following behind.

"Here you are baby, I've been looking everywhere for you." She said wrapping her arms from behind him but i didn't expect for him to hold them in place.

"Nah I was just talking to Katie."

"About?" Kendall asked.

"About the guy. We never met Sage before today so I was curious because they never said how they met, just that they dated." He said letting me know that not even Kendall would stop him.

"Actually I am curious too. Thanks James." Kendall said.

"Fine. If you want to know so badly I'll tell you. And just so you know brother.. This is gonna make you realize that neither you or anyone else here for that matter really knows me." I said bitterly and stood up walking towards James and Kendall's room. I grabbed Kendall's old guitar and sat in his bed while Penelope and James sat on his.

I started playing a couple of chords for 'I'll Find Mine' and when I reached the chorus I started to sing.

I've got it down

You showed me again

Just so you know.

Don't push me around

I know you resent that I'm alone

Pity and mercy

Do nothing for me

You know me better than anyone.

Go get your girl

She's looking at you like you're crazy.

We can pretend you never even knew me.

It would work out

Don't let go of that one

And I'll find mine.

I stopped playing and left the guitar in Kendall's hands before continuing what I was going to do before. I went over to Camille's apartment and she opened the door.

"Sorry I didn't say anything before. Can we talk." I asked and she let me inside her apartment.


	10. Gone? Part 1

**Hi! So thanks for your reviews.. I was surprised to get one about 10 minutes after I posted or so. Last chapter I forgot to say that the song "I'll find mine" is from Meg & Dia, and so is the song in this chapter: Masterpiece. I wrote the lyrics from one of the live versions 'cause I think its way better. Well as you will see this is part one because the chapter is just way too long, but its only going to be two parts. Hope you guys like it even though this one alone doesn't say much.**

Chapter 10: Gone? (part 1)

So, mom was back since last night. I had stayed over at Camille's the rest of the weekend since the guys had a couple of performances. It's Monday already and music class sadly went by fast.

_Katie Knight and Penelope Anderson please report to the principal's office._

I heard the intercom and waited 'til my History teacher signaled me to go ahead. I went and knocked on Mr. Miller's door only to find Penelope already seating inside. I took a seat next to her since there was nowhere else to sit and waited for him to speak up.

"I guess you both are wondering why are you here." He said and we both nodded. "Well Penelope I am afraid to say you wont be living with the Knights anymore. It has come to my attention that you have been behaving…" He trailed off clearly uncomfortable but then snapped. "Point is you can't date any of the boys living in that house because its against the rules so now you will be living with the McGregor's."

Wow… that took me by surprise. I don't know if it should make me happy the fact that she wasn't going to be living in my room anymore or sad because she could get screwed by Kyle.

When we went out of the principal's office Penelope dragged me to an empty hallway and pushed me to the wall.

"You just had to tell the principal didn't you? You hate that he left you for me." Penelope said venomously.

"I didn't tell him shit Penelope. I'm too preoccupied with my own stuff to care about yours."

"James is your stuff too."

"Not anymore, so right now what he does or doesn't do doesn't concern me. I care, but I'm not one for butting in."

I got out of her grip and started walking but she pushed me against the lockers.

"I'm just warning you, when I get out of the apartment you better not try anything with him you slut." He said slowly raising her voice.

"Anderson!" Someone yelled and I felt Penelope's weight get off me. I turned around to see Dana standing there.

"Oh hi Dana." Penelope said.

"Miss Morgan to you Anderson. And may I ask what were you doing?" Dana said raising an eyebrow.

"Katie just had pain in her back and I was trying to help her. I'm going to go to class now." She said and walked off quickly.

"You okay Katie?" Dana asked.

"Yeah, that pain just left so yeah."

"What did she say?"

"Nothing, she was just bitching out about what the principal said. I don't even know how he found out she was dating James. I didn't even know it was against the rules."

"I'm so sorry Katie, that was my fault. The principal saw me taking you home and I had to tell him that I knew you outside of school and he asked me how was your home life so I that little detail slipped out."

"It's okay, you did me a favor anyways, I couldn't stand her." I said smiling.

"No harm done then." She said mimicking my smile.

When I got home that afternoon I found Sage at the entrance of the Palm Woods.

"Hey Kates." He said giving me a hug, which felt kind of uncomfortable.

"Hey Sage." I said letting him know how he was making me feel.

"Oh, I'm sorry, just forgot." Sage said quickly backing up. "I wanted to see you without the awkwardness of the dinner."

"Well my mom is back so it might still be awkward." I said walking towards the inside of the Palm Woods.

"Yes but she was always nice even if she wanted to choke me." He said.

"Very true." I said right when we reached 2J. I opened the door to see everyone in the living room. Penelope was crying in James' lap and her packed bags were next to them.

"Hello Sage, how have you been?" Mom said walking over to us and greeting Sage with a hug.

"Very good Mrs. Knight, how about yourself?" He asked politely.

"I'm good myself. Katie, what is this that Penelope was trying to explain? She said something about you telling on her and now she has to move to Kyle's apartment." Mom asked with concern on her voice.

"I didn't say anything." I said and Sage spoke up surprising me.

"My sister and I were at the principal's dinner on Saturday night and as we were talking and changing subjects Penelope's came up. We're sorry if we caused any kind of trouble but those are the exchange rules that we actually just became aware of." Sage said.

"Oh, that's okay. No problem then." She said and turned to look at Penelope and James. "Sorry kids, but those are the rules. Penelope you are welcome to come and visit any time, but you can't stay to sleep here, sorry." Then she turned back to us. "Sage honey would you like to stay for dinner?" Mom asked.

"No thanks Mrs. Knight. I was just coming to visit Katie quickly before going to work." Sage said.

"Then I'll whip you something up quickly that you can take for work. You kids go ahead, just leave the door at least half opened." She said and went into the kitchen.

"So.." Sage said trailing off.

"Wait here." I said leaving him in my room and dropping my bag next to him. I went over to Kendall's room and picked his guitar. As I walked through the living room I could feel everyone's gaze on me.

"What's that?" Sage asked as I walked into my room.

"Well it's a guitar."

"Very funny, but.." Sage said and I cut him off.

"I'm actually glad you came. I always wanted to show you something but well we hadn't seen each other and every other time I saw you I was mad at you so it would've come out wrong."

"Okay, let's hear it then."

I took a deep breath, sat down next to him on my bed and started to sing the song I wrote for him.

Too bad you knew me.

When I wasn't ready.

I wasn't ready.

Did I say, "Come and get me?"

Too bad I held on.

When you tried to tell me.

This was wrong.

This was wrong

I am no masterpiece where innocence is painted green.

Isn't it strange to think that you created all of me?

Done by the hands of a broken artist.

You painted black where my naked heart is.

I finally know what wrong is.

Now I finally know what wrong is.

Carved like a stone with your hands still shaking.

On display through a soul still breaking.

Aren't you proud you're the one that made me?

Aren't you proud you're the one that made me?

You can't erase these.

Lines you can't save me.

You can't display me.

You know what dismay means.

I can't even try to.

Remember what I knew.

Before I became your.

Model to claim no.

I am no masterpiece where innocence is painted green.

Isn't it strange to think how you created all of me?

Done by the hands of a broken artist.

You painted black where my naked heart is.

I finally know what wrong is.

Now I finally know that you bleed for nothing.

Carved like a stone with your hands still shaking.

On display through a soul still breaking.

Aren't you proud you're the one that made me?

Aren't you proud you're the one that made me?

I grew tired.

You expired.

You finished me.

Now that I'm all that you planned.

What do you think?

Done by the hands of a broken artist.

You painted black where my naked heart is.

I finally know what wrong is.

Now I finally know that you bleed for nothing.

Carved like a stone with your hands still shaking.

On display through a soul still breaking.

Aren't you proud you're the one that made me?

Aren't you proud, aren't you?


	11. Gone? Part 2

**So my birthday present for you guys is this short second part of the chapter. Yes, it became short, but only for a good reason. I had started writing the next chapter and I hated it and decided to do something a little bit more interesting. No worries, I'll update soon. Review if u want to =)**

Chapter 11: Gone? (part 2)

"That's a really good song, what inspired you?"

"I wrote it when things got complicated and we were about to break up." I said looking at the guitar in my hands and putting it on the floor.

"Wow, kind of made me feel like a jerk." He said scratching the back of his neck breaking the small silence.

"You were, a little bit." I said, trying to not be a bitch.

"No, Kates, seriously. Let's talk. We stayed friends but we never really solved anything or talked about it." Sage said taking my hands and making circles with his thumb on the back of my hands.

"There's nothing to talk about Sage." I said.

"So you're not mad that I started dating Melody again after we broke up." He said.

"It was bound to happen, its fine. I kinda knew you still loved her." I said for the first time out loud.

"What?" He said sounding a bit surprised.

"Yes I knew. That was why I was always mad at you and started fighting with you. You loved her more and more every day and I just couldn't compete, I was just a stupid 14-year-old pretending to be older than I actually was and wanting to be someone who was loved. You did break me but I got over it, I found J-" I sighed stopping myself from pronouncing his name. "Never mind."

"I'm sorry Kates." He said hugging me. "You know I never meant to hurt you right?" He said and I nodded. Even though he was a complete jerk at that moment I knew he was just following his heart, and I could never be mad at that. He was still a great person and he was still my friend and listened to my rants when I needed someone.

We fell into comfortable silence for a while until he spoke up again.

"So who is the lucky guy?" He asked.

"What?"

"The one you found." He said pushing me slightly.

"Oh, we broke up." I said holding back my tears. Knowing he was in the next room comforting her instead of me killed me little by little inside.

"What happened?" He asked and I told him the whole story. I knew I could trust him with everything and he wouldn't judge. Soon it was time for him to leave for work and we went outside the room. We only found mom on the kitchen.

"Where's everyone?" I asked.

"Kendall, Logan and Carlos left with Penelope and James to help her move all her things."

"Well Sage is leaving, I'm gonna walk him downstairs."

"Oh okay sweetie." She said and went over to hug Sage. "Take care honey, have a good evening at work." She said giving him the bag with food.

"Thanks Mrs. Knight. See you soon."

I went downstairs with Sage and walked him over to his motorcycle.

"Finally bought it huh." I said checking out his new ride.

"Yeah, I use it when I can."

We hugged and said our goodbyes and I walked inside once he left.

I was almost near the elevator when I felt someone grab me and take me inside the supply closet. Kyle came out from behind me and closed the door locking it and putting the keys in his pocket.

"I thought you were gonna stop dating already." He said grabbing me and pulling me close to him.

"Why?" I asked stupidly. I felt frozen.

"You have to understand baby, no one else can have you, especially not James or that new boyfriend of yours that just left." He said pushing me on the wall making a couple of brooms fall.

"He's not my boyfriend." I said trying to figure if there was a chance to get the key out of his pocket.

"He better not be, you're mine." He said and he started kissing me forcefully. I couldn't respond, I tried to, but I couldn't. My body just wouldn't move.


	12. A Big Christmas Surprise

**Happy holidays! I know I was supposed to update sooner but well, life can be strange most times. Anyways, hope you guys are having wonderful vacations, if you are. So I brought a very long chapter, sort of, and I hope you like it and don't find it confusing. It has two songs in it, the first one is Don't Give Me That by Aloha From Hell and the second one is In My Arms Again to which I made a few changes to make it work from a girl to a boy, from blue eyes to hazel ones, and from my arms to your arms. Anyways, here it is and please review =)**

Chapter 12: A Big Christmas Surprise

I woke up and felt disturbed. I didn't open my eyes, yet I was having visions. Kyle forcing his kisses on me, then pulling down my pants while I tried to kick him away, then nothing. I opened my eyes to see I was in Kendall's room, but I wasn't in his bed. I saw James sitting right beside me looking at me.

"Finally woke up. Do you feel okay?" He said pushing my bangs out of my face.

What the heck? Did something happen that got James and me back together? 'Cause if it did I'm pissed I missed it.

"I guess I'm fine." I said and shrugged.

"You guess? Bitters cut my date with Penelope short because he found you passed out on a supply closet and he couldn't find Kendall anywhere." He said getting up from the bed.

The door opened up to reveal my mom come in with a sandwich.

"Here's your sandwich James." She said handing it to him and then looking over at me. "Sweetie finally you're awake. What happened?" She asked making me realize those visions were true.

"I don't know mom." I said.

"Sweetie is this time like the last time-" She started saying but I cut her off.

"I don't know mom! Maybe, but I can't remember all."

"What happened the last time?" James asked completely ignoring his sandwich.

"Nothing James, nothing." I said bitterly and got up to leave the room.

I didn't want to tell James. Even though I wanted to be back with him so badly something kept me back from telling him. Maybe it was the fact that if he truly cared about me he wouldn't be with anyone else, he would've tried to understand, he would've stayed with me.

* * *

><p>Weeks kept passing by, and nothing had changed. James was still with Penelope, Sage kept visiting with Dana or alone. I barely went out of my room and Camille was always there for me. She had told me about the big Christmas Eve party that was going to be held in the lobby of the Palm Woods. Bitters had agreed to it because he had finally found a human date, yes he had tried a holographic date before as well as a robotic and a canine one.<p>

I always had my own traditions every year. I bought the perfect presents as soon as I would see them. This year I found them all in the summer, sadly now James' gift looks a bit too much. I was debating between giving it to him or not.

"You seriously want my opinion on that? Why the heck do you even ask me that?" Sage asked me.

"Well I don't know what to do and Camille hasn't been much of a help either." I said raising my hands hoping to show my annoyance.

"Hey, don't be like that. I gave you an idea, you just refused."

"What was it?" Sage asked her letting me know he would ignore any of my interruptions.

"I told her she should give it to him anyways and put in the card that it's from an ex or she should just sing the song she wrote him at the party."

"I think both should be good." Sage said.

"Yeah, but both lead on to people knowing that we were together."

"So? He shouldn't have kept you in the shadows. Penelope is your age also and Kendall would've just had to deal with it, don't you think?" Sage said wisely.

"Okay, but you guys gotta help me." I said as my wheels were turning in my head. This night was definitely going to be a merry one.

* * *

><p>Everyone was at the lobby while I was finishing putting the final touches on my make-up. I had put on my favorite dress, the last one James bought for me with his favorite design tights, my leather jacket and my ankle boots. I looked at myself one last time before walking outside the apartment and taking the elevator towards probably the biggest mistake I'll make this Christmas.<p>

That afternoon I had written a song with Sage and taught him the chords of the song I wrote for James. He was going to play the guitar while sitting next to me on the stage. Camille was going to make sure that they were both standing by each other so I wouldn't have to look far for them.

When I got downstairs I was immediately greeted by Sage and Camille who walked with me towards the stage.

"Hey, Camille told me you had a surprise tonight." Kendall said appearing and walking besides me.

"Yeah, I do. I hope you like it." I said, but I knew he wouldn't.

"Hey everybody!" I heard Camille from the stage and took it as my cue to get closer to the stage. As soon as I went Sage took my hand knowing about my nervousness. Not only was I singing the songs on stage but also Dana and Melody were here. "So Katie here wanted to give a little Christmas surprise. Get up here Katie." She said waving me to come up. Sage pulled me with him up on stage and released my hand to let me hold the microphone. "So, what is your surprise?" She pretended to ask.

"Well I wrote two songs that I want to dedicate tonight." I said trying to not run away.

"Who are they for?"

"Well, they should know who they are, but if not, I'll tell them anyways." I said forcing an evil smirk. Sadly it wasn't coming naturally.

"Well, I'll leave you to do your thing. People of the Palm Woods, I present to you miss Katie Knight." She said and left the stage. I sat on the stool next to Sage and put the mic on the stand.

"Hello, everyone. Well I know this is Christmas and all is cheery but I just wanted to sing a couple of songs. I don't have much written but I consider this ones my Christmas presents to those people. This first one is called 'Don't Give Me That'. Its for someone who has been hurting me and giving me a hard time, Merry Christmas asshole."

I ignored the reactions of the people who were clearly bothered and started to sing.

So it's over and your heart is on the floor.

And you need a way to run and hide.

Now you're knocking on my door.

Tryin' to pick it up and save your pride.

You can say it but I've heard it all before.

How I never should and said goodbye.

The one you still adore.

And how you never meant to make me cry.

You were the one who let me down,

You were the one who fooled around.

Now I'm your lost and found.

Don't gimme that,

Aah, aah, ahh

Don't gimme that,

Aah, aah, ahh

Don't gimme that,

Aah, aah, ahh

Don't gimme that,

Aah, aah, ahh

Don't gimme that.

Sorry really doesn't mean a thing

When I can't believe a word you say

I'm not your puppet on a string.

Left aside until you want to play

You were the one who let me down,

You were the one who fooled around.

Now I'm your lost and found.

Don't gimme that,

Aah, aah, ahh

Don't gimme that,

Aah, aah, ahh

Don't gimme that,

Aah, aah, ahh

Don't gimme that,

So it's over and your heart is on the floor.

And you need a way to run and hide.

Now you're knocking on my door.

Tryin' to pick it up and save your pride.

Aah, aah, ahh

Don't gimme that,

Aah, aah, ahh

Don't gimme that,

Aah, ahh, ahh

Don't gimme that,

Aah, ahh, ahh Don't gimme that.

(Gimme that, gimme that, gimme that, gimme, gimme, gimme that) Don't gimme that

When I finished I could see stunned faces, happy faces, I could see lots of different emotions from people. But I ignored it once again before I could back down from continuing.

"This next song is nicer than the first one. James, this is for you. Thanks for everything you did for me. This is 'In Your Arms Again" I blurted out before starting to sing again what could be a disaster in the end.

I remember your hazel eyes

But I don't know who you are

This could be wrong

But you're the prince of all my secret dreams

Now I'm here in front of you

I would make my dreams come true

For just one day

I want to touch your hands and your sweet lips

The day when you came down

It wasn't raining on this town

It was god who was crying

Because he lost an angel like you

Please remain here on the earth

Don't leave me all alone

Before you go

I want you to hold me in your arms again…

Arms again…

Your eyes turn towards the sky

You say: "I should come back home"

These words hurt me more

Than a dagger through my broken heart

Remain here on the earth

Don't leave me all alone

Before you go

I want you to hold me in your arms again …

Arms again…

I could have been more concrete

Forcing you to stay, it's not my way

Why don't you belong to me?

I'm willing to pay to make you mine

Please dive

Into my raving world

I'm sure that it will be so beautiful

I want you to hold me in your arms again …

Arms again…

Arms again…

Arms again…


	13. Getting It Over With

**So I decided: enough nonsense, lets get to the point where you actually start to like the story. Nah, I'm just kidding, sort of. After this chapter things will start to get a bit more interesting and a heck of a lot more fun for me. By the way sorry if this one sucks but try to write with 2 three-year-olds annoying you, does wonders for other stories, not that much for this one.**

Chapter 13: Getting It Over With

When I finished the song Sage and I left the stage. Sage was immediately greeted by a kiss from Melody. I couldn't help but feel weird and a bit jealous. Not jealous because I liked him, but because I wish that was James and me. It was also weird because he is someone I used to date, even though we had an age difference and I was 14 he still had told me it didn't feel like babysitting, like most people would say.

I looked around trying to find James but I couldn't see him anywhere although Kendall as making his way to me.

"Katie that was awesome." He said hugging me. "Did you write those?" he asked.

"The first one I wrote with Sage, the second one I wrote by myself." I said.

"Well they were both amazing. Although the second one seemed more for like a boyfriend or something." He said confused and a bit angry.

"Yeah, maybe it had a bit of it. Anyways I'm going to go upstairs, I just came down here to show the songs." I said trying to leave Kendall's side.

"No, don't leave, the party is just starting and we're not even close to opening the presents yet." He said getting a hold of my arm. Camille appeared out of nowhere.

"Don't tell me you want to leave, please don't. Katie you need to forget about everything and have fun." Camille said.

"Fine, I'll stay, but if any of you leave me alone I'll make sure to sneak off." I said letting them know that I probably will sneak off anyways. I was never the party type kind of person but lately I had been just for the sake of seeing James at a party and getting to see him winking at me and just the two of us would know. Then again, that was before all this ridiculousness happened.

Sometimes I wish I was thirteen again, when I knew nothing about this kind of hurt. Maybe I could've attempted to socialize more, be a bit normal. I've started to hate how things get more complicated in just a matter of months.

* * *

><p>Just like I figured Camille had left to find Logan, that girl was sort of a nut job, but a nice one. A girl was flirting with Kendall and I figured it would be best to excuse myself so I wouldn't ruin his chances. I was definitely not prepared to watch my mom kissing some dude her age in the corner just like Kendall and Jo used to do.<p>

I felt a hand in the small of my back and I froze.

"Come on baby, lets go upstairs." I heard Kyle say.

"Give it a rest Kyle. It's happened twice because you caught me off-guard and you drugged me, but not this time. Besides, there are a lot of people watching." I said snickering, but then I wished I hadn't when I felt a cold metal against my wrist.

"You were saying." He said amused pissing me off. "And by the way, this time, you're going to like it." He said tugging on my wrist to lead the way. "Let's go to my apartment."

Tears started forming when I felt him press the knife a bit harder while he pressed the button up to his floor. Soon enough we were at his apartment.

"Come on sweetie, kneel on the floor." He said moving himself to my front and keeping the knife on my shoulder. He was seriously smarter than I gave him credit for. If I tried to move he could cut me in bad places by 'mistake'.

I knew what would happen next, I couldn't help but feel disgusted.

"Unzip my pants now. You know what I want; I know you're not stupid. Beginner sure, but not stupid."

I did as he said, trying to calculate any possible way out of this, trying to notice if he could be caught off guard. I couldn't believe what I was doing. I not only felt disgusted at him, but at myself. He was the one guy I rejected, the one guy that asked me to do this and I refused; yet it was happening and now it wasn't going to be like I always thought it should've been.

"Bitch, you better do a good job at this. Go faster, I want to see you swallow my cum." He said and I almost puked right then and there. I was crying silently but I could tell he noticed because the knife moved closer to my neck. I decided to obey, I wish he would just get it over with and kill me, it was for the best anyways. He had screwed my mind, even though I tried to not let it affect me, but he had managed to screw it.

He finally came, it was disgusting. Half of it I let it fall to the floor with my tears. He slapped my face, "I told you to swallow, that meant all of it, but fine. You want it nasty, you got it. Come on, lets get you duct tape, you're gonna do it again and right this time." He went with me to the kitchen and got the tape from one of the drawers. He taped my arms together on my back and pushed me on to the floor before taping my ankles together. He got himself on top of me, got my dress up and with the knife he cut my tights right in the place he had gotten to before.

What happened next is something I didn't expect. While his nasty part was right in my face I felt him being thrown off of me. Kyle's mom was covering me and right then I realized Kendall and James had seen this seeing they were the one's that took Kyle off of me while Logan made sure to securely get a hold of the knife.


	14. Breaking Up Might Have Been For The Best

**So I decided to update this time before New Years because I finished writing the chapter earlier. Anyways, its a little longer than the last one but not that long, but I will update soon, probably Tuesday night at the latest. I hope you guys have a wonderful New Years Eve and make up good resolutions for the New Year if you do that. Enjoy the chapter, R & R please =)**

Chapter 14: Breaking Up Might Have Been For The Best

"Oh my God Katie, I'm so sorry you had to go through this." Kyle's mom kept telling me while we were at the police station. Mom sat on my left while Kyle's mom sat on my right. The guys and Camille were at the apartment taking care of Kyle's sister.

Turns out Kyle's mom went to the apartment and when she saw what was happening and how Kyle had the knife near my neck she went as quietly as she could to get help. They were talking to Kyle right now and after his version his mom would testify and then we would all go home, minus Kyle. I got my cellphone back seeing as I still had Kyle's text messages from the first time and it served as evidence. I turned it on and saw there were a couple of text messages.

From: Sage

Hey sweetie, let me know if you need anything. I heard from Camille what happened, I'm just glad that idiot is going to get what he deserves.

From: Kendall

Hey baby sis, let me know when you guys are coming home. We called Gustavo and cancelled the New Years Eve activity, there's no way we're leaving you. By the way, Carlos is upset we didn't tell him before, and so is James.

From: James

Camille told me everything, we need to talk.

From: Camille

Sorry, I know it wasn't my place, but I had to tell him. Kendall and Logan started blabbing what they knew to Carlos so might as well fill him in with the real info, like he used to.

I decided to reply immediately.

To: Camille

Yeah, it's fine I guess. I need to get it all out in the open, but I mean with everyone. Still gotta talk to James first.

To: James

Yes we do need to talk.

To: Kendall

There are still a couple of things you guys don't know. When I come home I'm telling you everything, I'm tired of this. Call you when I'm on my way.

To: Sage

Thanks, I'll keep you posted. Have fun with your girlie.

There was no reason everyone's night should be ruined.

* * *

><p>My mom, Kyle's mom and I took my mom's van back to the Palm Woods. Kyle would stay over night and then would be transferred to juvie in his home state. I texted Kendall that we were on our way, but I was too tired to talk or anything at all. I just wanted to sleep comfortably in my own bed for once.<p>

I'm actually glad I had to go through that horrible thing. I was tired of Kyle constantly harassing me and messing with my mental stability.

We had just arrived at the Palm Woods, the whole lobby was cleaned out. There was not one soul in the lobby. We rode the elevator in silence towards 2J. When we got there we found Stacy, Kyle's baby sister, sleeping in the couch. Kyle's mom got her and left the apartment.

"Hey Kitty, all good?" Camille asked getting my hair out of my face.

"Yeah, I just seriously need a shower and loads of mouthwash and induced vomiting." I said and everyone, including me, cringed.

"I normally would say no to induced vomiting but this time I agree, just this once." My mom said gagging a bit.

"Come on, I'll go with you." Cam said.

We went to my room and she prepared my bath. I took my clothes off and put my robe on.

"Dammit, and to think this perfectly good clothes went to waste thanks to that idiot." I said.

"Yeah, you looked hot in these, now we have to burn them." Cam said tossing them in a corner. "So do you really want to vomit?" she asked getting my hair in a ponytail.

"Sounds ridiculous but yes." I replied.

"I'll get the mouthwash." She said going to the hallway closet were we kept the big one since mine was almost empty and it wouldn't be enough.

* * *

><p>After I had puked my guts out I took my bath with Camille by my side telling me exactly what she said to James. I didn't want to be ambushed when I talked to him. I sort of wanted to choke her, but I knew better than that, besides, it was those kind of situations where you wouldn't know what to do because almost everything is wrong and it all has a bad side.<p>

I put on one of my oversized tees and my sweatpants and went to the living room with Camille.

"Everyone went to bed. They were tired." Logan said.

"Okay, I'm just gonna drink some water." I said heading towards the kitchen.

"Well hun I'm going to my apartment. Try to sleep 'kay?" Cam said.

"I think this time I'll sleep like a baby." I said half-smiling.

"I'm going over to Cam's if anyone asks." Logan said and they both kissed me in the forehead before leaving.

I finished with my glass of water and went to my room. I texted James once I was in my room.

To: James

Are you awake?

A couple of minutes later I heard my door opening. James came inside my room and locked the door.

"Hey." He said as he sat by my side on my bed.

"So, you've heard." I simply said. I seriously didn't know how to start a conversation with him.

"Kates why didn't you tell me? I would've understood." He said aggravated.

"I was trying to process it. I didn't know how to tell you. And besides that day at Camille's you didn't even let me explain, you just broke up with me and left."

"Yeah, about that…" He trailed off.

"Did you even like me at all? Because you didn't wait at all to get together with Penelope. And out of all people, her?" I said changing the direction of my gaze. I didn't even want to look at him.

"She told me you were cheating on me with Kyle. When he came by Camille's apartment I figured she was right."

"You should've known I would never do that. You should've known better than to believe her before asking me what was going on."

"And I know that now. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I hurt you."

"I know." I said and he gave me a look of disbelief, as if he was shocked I said that.

"You're just gonna say that?"

"What else do you want me to say James? Well I can think of a couple of things I wanna say and I'm just going to say them. I was so afraid before any of this shit happened that you would leave me, that you were just toying with me. You let Penelope hover all over you and flirt with you and you didn't do anything. Why the hell did you think I went out alone that night in the first place? She almost kissed you, well she kissed you very close to the lips and you didn't do anything. Of course I was going to be infuriated and go out. I was tired that you didn't pay enough attention to me and maybe breaking up might have been the best thing." I said calmly.

"Don't say that, you know that's not true. You know we both suffered being apart." He said, tears forming in his eyes.

"But if you weren't willing to take a risk for me, to take me as a priority that may have been the best thing, to break up. Yes I suffered, I still do, but its far better than having to make up little happy endings in my mind that would probably never come true."


	15. When Lies Slip

**Sorry it took this long to update a chapter, I know I at least updated once a week. Anyways there's only 5 chapters left of the story. I want you guys to tell me in your reviews what would you like to see in the ending, or what would you like to happen next.**

Chapter 15: When Lies Slip

I kicked James out of my room that night. Maybe being so close to the end of the year made me realize all that had been wrong with this one. I know it may be a little selfish, but probably what I need from now on is to think about myself first instead of others. Kyle had left for Juvie already, but his mom and his sister stayed here. His mom said Kyle's dad would have to take care of him this time around.

I was in my room with Camille. We were listening to some music and trying to figure out what things should she buy for New Year's Eve. She wanted to make a special dinner for Logan but her cooking skills are not the best so I offered to help. That's how right now we're browsing through the Internet for some recipes, well that was until we heard Penelope screaming in the living room, then we just had to eavesdrop.

"What the hell do you mean you're breaking up with me James?" We heard Penelope yell.

"You knew I was only with you because of what I thought happened that day! You told me she was sleeping with him willingly when it wasn't like that." James said angrily.

"Okay, so maybe it may have not been like that, but that's what I thought when I saw the pictures-." She started but James cut her off.

"You knew about those? I thought you said you had seen them in action and as far as I know those were in Camille's apartment."

"Yeah I saw them there."

"Stop lying, you're not even friends with Camille and besides you told me that before those even got to Camille's." He said and I couldn't help but look at Camille, apparently she slipped at lot.

"You can't leave me!"

"Oh, yes I can. You're a liar." He screamed at her.

"What the hell is going on here?" Mom screamed at them, oh crap. "I could hear you all the way to the lobby."

"Momma Knight, James- James." She said sobbing.

"She just can't get through her skull that we're breaking up because of her lies."

"What lies?" Mom asked.

"None-." Penelope started but James cut her off.

"You told me lies so I would break up with Katie!" He yelled at Penelope, but the anger had blinded him once again and didn't let him filter what he said.

"Katie!" I heard Kendall yell.

Oh God, this is bad. I didn't even know he was here. Both Camille and I bolted back to the bed. We both got on our laptops and put our earphones in a loud volume. Everyone knew our earphones were sound proof so it was the best idea to put them on.

Suddenly a very angry Kendall yanked off my earphones.

"What the heck dude!" I said trying to sound as natural as possible.

"That's what I was just about to ask." He said mockingly and dragged me to the living room.

"Let go of me. I can walk on my own." I said as we reached were mom, the guys and Penelope were.

"Kendall let go of her." Mom ordered from her seat and he did as told. "So what is this that I hear? You and James dated?" She asked me.

"Yeah." I said shrugging.

"Okay, James is breaking up with Penelope because apparently she lied to him in order to manipulate him into breaking up with you. Do you think that's true?" Mom said as if she was a judge in court. I felt like I was in one of those new law dramas or something, like Fairly Legal.

"That wouldn't surprise me."

"See James it doesn't even surprise Katie. If you even loved her, which I hope you didn't 'cause I'm still debating whether or not to choke you for getting involved with her, you wouldn't have believed anyone else but her." Kendall said.

"That's what I said."

"I do love you and you know it." James said sternly.

"Can we go?" Carlos asked motioning towards Camille, Logan and himself.

"No, this would be a good lesson for you at some point." Kendall said.

"Kendall, shut up, and yes, you may go." Mom replied, Kendall huffed and sat down next to her.

She looked at us, her expression blank this time. That face scared me the most. Sometimes the outcome was really good, sometimes it was extremely bad.

"I'm going to rest for a while, I feel a migraine coming on." Mom said and left for her room. Kendall stared after her in shock, but out of nowhere his expression changed and tackled James to the ground.

"How dare you sleep with my little sister?" Kendall whispered-yelled.

"I never slept with her man." James said scared.

"Wow, Kendall, I thought we were past the whole thinking I'm a whore thing. Thank you for the déjà vu. I'm going over to Dana's" I said leaving the apartment without even thinking of grabbing my keys.

**James POV**

I cannot believe I had let it slip that I had dated Katie. I wanted to avoid this situation so baldy and here I was: pinned on the floor by Kendall who has this weird coo coo look in his eye.

"How could you even think of dating Katie? Out of all people, you knew she was completely off-limits. Why would you want to ruin her?" Kendall asked.

"Ruin her? She was destroyed by Kyle, and we made each other happy. I never pressured her into having sex, we never had sex, she made that very clear from the start and I respected it." I said furious my best friend was treating me like this.

"You ruined her when you broke up with her. Now that I know this I understand everything that had changed with her. No matter your reasoning, you're not getting away with what you did to Katie." Kendall said before he punched me in the gut and left.


End file.
